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i love u enough to love u

i love u enough to cry abt us

i love u enough to be depress

i love u enough to be happy at the slightest of things

i love u enough to be brave

i love u enough to be weak

i love u enough to be vain

i love u enough to be cool

i love u enough to be me

i love u enough to be not me

i love u enough to quit

i love u enough to give up

i love u enough to let go

i love u enough to perservere till today

i� love u enough to see the truth

i love u enough to deceive myself

i love u enough to miss u

i love u enough to stay away from u

R,�what has happened to me? it takes only a second to know u, and my lifetime to forget u.

I feel like i have so much time on my hands, and i dont know what to do with it.

I read alot. But after i finish the book i wish i had tooken more time reading it.

I play the piano. But i can only play the piano during the day. Grand Pianos have a loud sound. =]

I write sometimes. But i can't get feedback on it because i don't want to put my writing up anywhere. Last time i did that i got all of it stolen.

I play games, like online and stuff. But they all seem to be so easy, and worthless.

I look things up. Learn about things i don't know about. But sometimes i feel like that's pretty worthless as well.

I draw, paint, etc. But i usually throw it away or put it in my basement. Rejection scares me. Alot.

I spend my days getting through them. Waiting for somthing to happen. Waiting to figure the reason i'm here. What duty do i serve?

Talking to other people about these things is a waste of time. When you speak as if you came out of a poetry book, people don't really get the grip on what you're saying.

I want to run away. Not really run away from my parents/friend/family. Just run away from me. What i've become. I want to go someplace where i can just lay and look at the stars without a plane hovering overhead, or so much lights on the streets you can barly tell its twilight. I know running away is not an opition. But it sounds nice.

-if you've read this whole thing, i applaud you.

So it may not be to some people but to me it is..my life is falling apart. My parents for 21+ yrs are getting a divorce..my dad filed and told me yesterday... i dont kno what to do...once i found out of course i cried, we talked he explained him self.. which sad thing is not just me but both my brother and i agree with my dad.

we both love our mother but she is nothing but money..money this u owe me wheres my money where my money all the time. she charged my dad interest when he borrowed money from her...who in thier right mind charges thier husband interest..

UGH!!!! i love my mom of course and i have to be here for her. but its hard..its hard to sit at home and think my dads not coming home tonight..it hurts i kno its not his fault and i am not made at him one bit but...i am a major daddys girl...

just wanted to get a lil off my chest now..there will be more.....

well my op is tommorow and now i'm shaking in my boots have had it all explained to me by a very nice nurse but you know what it's like you still worry about it but every thing will be fine he does at least 100 op's a year and they say he is the best surgen so now to pack my bag and off i go to kiss goodbye to the years of pain and heres to a new life in the new year so i wish you all a very merry christmas and a wonderfull new year and dont do anything i wouldn't do

We made a Hydroponic bomb to send it to the Tundra of Poor Mother Russia when exploded it will spread some wheat germ all over Mother Russian's dirt. Perhaps the Janitor has pictures of the Blue Cobalt Bomb that's carries it. When exploded coming out of orbit it showers Russian People with some love instead of death some future bread to eat. We traded eggs for bread and lived without the meat we need. We hid the plans where the Janitor can get them quick. A Spy bringing spy a hidden message for the masses containing lies just to confuse the ruling classes.

My family has been joking around with me being a vampire. because:

1.I have very white, sprakly , perfect teeth which ive never had dentil work on.

2.I'm allergic to garlic.

3.I'm very pale. ive never seen someone so naturally pale. and neither has anyone else.

4.My eyes are black when im angry.

5.School comes very easy to me. And im a very quick learner.

6.I don't blink, i only blink when i put in my contacts, and when i close my eyes if somthing might get in my eyes.

7.I have headaches alot.

8.The only place i get pimples is on the back of my neck, and i think in my 14 years, ive had 2 pimples.

9.Some people say my face/skin is the clearest thing they'd ever seen.

10.My senses are very acute. I can hear someone�whispering 4 rooms away. I can smell everyone's own scent, and i know who comes in the room by smell. My skin is chilly alot. and im very sensitive to heat (like in the shower, i feel like warm water is burning my skin). The only reason i have glasses/contacts is because when i was little i got into some chemicals and hurt my eeyes, so i have very bad eye sight. but its fine with glasses. =]

11.i breath a bit heavier/faster than most people.

12.I dont really like the sun, when i go outside i close my eyes if the true sunlight is out because it hurts my eyes, and gives me a headache. and when the sun shines right on my skin it stings. But i love the feel of it when im really cold.

I've never shared this with anyone, and probly never will. it's a shame how people are these days. =/

You're probly reading this saying 'she's making this all up, she just wants attention' OR 'omg vampires arn't real!!!' OR 'how does all �this have to do with being a vampire?!'

I have an answer for you, this is my journal. You decided to read it. Keep your rude thoughts to yourself. i never once said i was a vampire. im just posting my thoughts.